book writen

B-O-R-E-D

2010-11-20T08:05:00.000-08:00

Seriously i'm getting bored with everything.even when i plan, still not doing it. buat bodoh suar!!

just be paitient only lorh.

what can i do if i have a childish attitude?...

so be it.

dudok diam diam pon chantek!...

in the mean while, im waiting for my new internet wireless home broad band to set up.

and i cud have my own internet access at home with my new LAPPY~!

wooohooo!!!!awesome ness!

1dec2010

2010-11-18T19:11:00.001-08:00

A date will never forget. As it drew nearer... Thats when i start to break down and im starting to get piss off with the slightest thing.

God help me!

aimlessly

2010-09-02T02:00:00.000-07:00

life has been at the worst state for me. each day i wake up, i wake up to a misery, at my worst morning. and its EVERY morning. i do wonder, why the hell am i still here living...

and by being like this, it affects my work somehow. cause i start to come late and slack.. i really have no
idea what is going on with ma life..and i start to question ma self.. why qamarya why?

everystart if the day kept me thinking...

im just to tired to move on. people think its easy for dem to say and judge, but have dey been thru shitts of life?

its for me to decide, not you, or you , or you ..

till den,
qamarya

aimlessly

2010-09-02T01:53:00.000-07:00

kecewe

2010-08-21T00:05:00.000-07:00

what saddens me most is YOU! you act like ur some goody person. but actually ure nt. okay maybe u are a lil, but if u never change , ita gonna eat u up some day.

percaya kah kamu, seandai nya setiap kejahatan dan keperitan yang kamu membuat pada seseorang, nescaya, akan termakan diri sendiri suatu hari nanti.

some call karma. some dont believe in it. but sooner or later, its gonna happen and more worst than u ever imagine!

moral of the story, open your eyes before something happen than u're gonna wake up!!

simply said, hidop kau takkan ader arah tujuan kalau kau tak berubah! lelaki semue nye same. all same story! dan jgn nak complain hidop nie tak fair! jgn free free nak salah kan org lain sedangkan kau tak pernah hargai aper yang seada nye. the very first thing u shld think of, what have she done to deserve this?

i know aku not in the position to say anything!!! because ure my bf friend, but to hear the saddening story from ur gf , haish ... made me thank so much that my boyfriend went thru that phase of life before he was with me.. at least, aku tk dpt rase how exactly the feeling is, but i understand!

argh!

k geram!!!

SESUNGGUHNYE AKU BERPUASE!!!!!!!!!!!

men are all the same!!

bby if see this post, confirm confirm ku kene spelling
'jgn masok campoor hal orang!'

dok tepi, mengomel sendiri je.. setakat puas kan hati pon chantek!

till them,
selamat ber puase
Qamarya Sahat

puasa

2010-08-11T13:07:00.000-07:00

slamat berbuke! bby love in camp reservist and i just had my meal , off to work again! mcm siak!! twitter is such an ass! cant twit anything!!!!

argggggh!!!

twitter

2010-08-07T11:11:00.000-07:00

my iphoney twitter is down. and i am missing ma lappy. next week dpt balek! ey yey!!

anyway wanna wish ma august babies,
HAPpy August birthday!!!!
to yati, my brother, ma cussins... many of them.. ma sch mates... and lots more...!!

happybirthday: may the best birthday u guys have!! :)

ill be back to update!

time to take a big step

2010-07-29T00:01:00.000-07:00

2011!!!

I'm looking forward to it. One thing because mabby gonna turn 27!! The other is ma big surprise!! Let it be a mystery jam 12 . But yea, aint gonnareveal any dirty secrets of mine here:)))

Just wait for the right time:)

And happy 2 years to me! Hahaha 2 years of doing ma fucking multi task job!!

Hidop Techno-Marine (S) Pte Ltd :)))
NOooooot!!!!!!

Lots of hunger and laksa,
Nur Qamariah sahat

false

2010-07-27T08:42:00.000-07:00

Help me survive this mental torture!!

Help me survive my depression. Help me please. I can no longer keep it in me. Because i am just a pathetic human being!

Argghhh!!

update

2010-07-27T08:13:00.001-07:00

I may nt be updating often... Please follow my twitter.. My kind followers! Haha just like godfinger in iphone!! Weeeee

ECLIPSE

2010-07-10T13:15:00.000-07:00

My bby syng got jealous when I giggle and smile smile while watching jacob's awsomeness body ! Bby used to have 6 packs when I knew him 2 years back, now only 1 pack!!

I guess I just have the hotts for Abg Abg body!!

But seriously, I feel like a girl who has a big huge crush on a pretty handsome boy during primary school days!

Tell me I'm not the only one !!!!

Hugs and kisses ,
Nur QAmariah

P.s: ILOVEYOU UCOP!!! Your smile melts me!! Mcm magnum gold!!!

ECLIPSE

2010-07-10T13:11:00.000-07:00

hate

2010-07-10T05:51:00.000-07:00

Aku nak kuar!!!!!!!!!!!

Aku nak tgk eclipse!!!!!!!

Aku nak ketawe ketawe aku nak jadi happy!!!!!!!

Arghhhhhz!!! Aku nak dudok rumah sendiri!!!!!!!!!!!!

hidop mcm * toooot*

2010-07-09T18:29:00.000-07:00

My own grand mother says That I am murah for sleeping over his place helping the Mak look after his niece?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Aku balek pon bukan nye korg herans! Aku cucu baju aku sendiri. Aku kemas bilik aku sendiri!! Aku buat segale nye sendiri. Tak pernah aku Susah kan Diri sesaper!!!!!!!!!!!

Susah ah hidop mcm nie!!!!!!!!!!!

Abeh salah aku ah Mak aku high blood?!?!? Bukan pasal iman?!?!? Bukan pasal Mak iman yang irresponsible?!?!?!?! Yang tinggal kan segale tanggung jawab diet pat Mak aku?!?!?!?!

Macam sial ah hidop aku!!!!!! Btl pey sial kau qamariah!!!!!! Mmg Dari kecik aku di besar kan mcm nie, it's up to me to live my life!!!!!!!!!!

Salah saper yang dulu suke abai kan aku? Aku kan anak TER! korg jugk cakap! Kasih sayang tak pernah adil pat aku!!!!! Aku adik pong aku jugak yang kene mengalah?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Suar ah hidop aaku!!

Mmg aku anak SIAL!!!!

rebel zirka

2010-07-03T19:36:00.000-07:00

It was tremendously fun yesterday. And I was the only girl amongs my collegues. You can see the difference of music taste.

Could see Ma collegues outside of their working clothes and in their awsomeness attire!

HOTTTY!

Moral of going to club is, never get yourself over drunk . The first time I went to rebel early may, I was fucking drunk. All I did was dancedance and bang in others. That got bby angry and he force me to sit down. And all I could remember was, waking up to a very very bad headache!!

Yesterday was fun! One of my collegues had to act gay cause he was wearing entirely like a MAT RIP! Just half an hour in zirka and I'm bloody drunk! Since man open a jug of tiger, it's just right enough that Ma bby open another jug of vodka red bull. And with free drinks with every entry?! I and yan amd ateng took all six free drinks since three of us not a big fan of beer.

It's just funny how we all manage to cone together and go club. Was my idea though.but from the guys point of view, there aren't many girls around yesterday. So they got bored and went back early.

But overall , it's was a bonding time with Ma collegues. And I thank them for making the effort to come down!!

Next Zouk Kay yan!!!! hahahaha... VIP per!!

till next time,
Lots of hangover loves,
Nur Qamariah Sahat

kasih cinta sayang

2010-07-02T13:52:00.000-07:00

Finally there is IBlogger!

Kay actually today topic is in general. It does not reflect on anyone or who ever.

I actually began to ask myself what does this each letter means.

KASIH CINTA SAYANG

Yes yes I know I used this on someone. But to understand the fact that each word have a meaning to it, to your lover , your parents, your family , your friends. I posted this on my fb, just before I sleep. And I woke up 3am having a bad dream.

Towards ALLAH S.W.T

Kasih
It's a feeling that you cared. You always have him in your heart . And you know you will think about him in your sad and happy times.

Cinta
It's a feeling that you don't need to be showing him literally. It's being developed as you grow old. It existed since the day you were born. Because at the end of your life, it's him we all would return to.

Sayang
It's a feeling you know that you can never let go. Sayang , we Islam would only go and asked for hints and sign of life when we need to . The more we learn bout Islam, the more sayang towards our religon grew bigger..

Towards Parents and family

Kasih
It's part of our job as a children to our parents that we return gratitute to them. Without them we won't get to see the world . It will become our random daily life when we show our care and concern towards them. Salam is part of it.

Cinta
We do not need to based on words. Everyday of yourlife, you'll soon realise , when oneday when they aren't around to see you success or build a future on your own , you will miss them.
Or you could realise that they never fail to educate and teach us the essentials of life.

Sayang
Obviously I do not need to say this!!

Towards Friends

Kasih
You cared for them even they treat you like shit. You'll be there for them. Vice verca.

Cinta
Uh, cinta ... Still trying to figure out!

Sayang
Means much more than words can describe. If your friends are hurt by others, you feel for them.. You wanna help them cause sayang is what you feel.

Towards your soul mate

Kasih
You devote your feels to them . You make them feel comfortable around you. You wanna share everything you do with them. Cause you care about them more than anything else. And you want to take care of them for the rest of your life .

Cinta
It's a mutual feeling. Your intuation is strong. You know how they feel. You understand how to be paitient. And cinta can't be expresses in words, cause cinta is what you feel in your heart. There is always a sacrifice that each person would do, only for cinta.

Sayang
It's funny how sayang is what couples always say to one another. Sayang is when you feel overwhelm feelings for the other . Sayang is when the other party hurt you bad, but even though they hurt you, they repent and still you have strong feelings for them. That is sayang all about :D

P. S: this post is never meant for anyone. Especially to someone I used to say this. It's forgive but never forget. Move on cause we live in a world of our . We canonly plan everything, but it's Allah who decides. Today we can be bo chap and rule our lives, but when one day when we lose someone we love, someone close to us, then we realise, we regret not treasuring when while they are still alive. Memories will stay, but feelings we have to let it go.

With lots of love,
Nur Qamariah sahat

2010-06-19T11:28:00.001-07:00

Though its damn hard to understand you. But i tried. I know you need space. Cause i 24/7 literally follow you where ever you go.

So here i am trying to tell myself its okay it you need time alone away from me.

ALL GUYS NEED THAT!

I apologies if coming down to your place makes things worst, more worst than it already is..

Feels like going out and take ma BABY EOS to heat my photography back! But the owner is damn lazy. So how? ...

Hope tomorrow not raining cause i so wanna go TANNING. Since my belly is fully “baik” . damn!.. i need to buckle up with my English. Harap kan keje admin, tapi English mcm sampah! .. ahahhaha
I’m waiting for Monday. Wanna see what my Lady Boss buy for me... wee!!!

Anyway, was thinking of changing jobs. To a bigger company, which could pay me at least ¼ more that what i am earning now. My full time la.. Part time la.. My side job(soon to come! Well, my part time sucks. To some its tiring, but to me, it kills my empty time. At least i could earn extra to finish up my car licence. My mum wants to pay for it. But i guess its just right if i could use my hard earn money to feel the success i try to achieve. Since i can’t school now, just trying to save up for my future.
I don’t know if settling down is the best idea, but i can’t stop those mouth from talking behind my back. And settling down needs alot of sacrifice. I know i can do it. But i just don’t know if its for the best? ..

I have great friends around me. I have friends who are there to hear my story telling. I love sharing what i have and hear what they have. Exchanging experience and knowledge . Sharing is Caring you know! ...
BUT, please don’t share BF. Fiance. HUSBAND!

Hahhaa.
Meet ma best ITE mates this WED. SHeeshaaaing – AGAIN!.. ahaha
asek jumpe je sheesha.. tak der keje lain! .. or so they say, they have a surprise for me.

Hmm.. don’t be like last year, haha .. they surprise me at Fish & Co glasshouse 2 weeks after my birthday. Making me stand on the chair and hold a fire stick while singing me a birthday song. And when the staff ask me when was my birthday, they gave a funny look!!

Lets talk about today LUNCH with my collegues! ...
Had lunch at Swensens Suntec with my boss and my admins. Since last month, finally they settle for today. Diana brought her 9 month old Baby, and i love QISTINA QURAISHA! SOOO CUTE! Haha i was like the mommy, feeding her with fries and ended up the rest had to wait till i finish my breaded chicken , for the ICE CREAM!! Ahahaha..

At least we are in good terms already. No more fighting between us collegues! ..

Okay. I’ll end my day with this quote:

Endurance is a key to a relationship. Paitients is the best virtue.

With lots and lots of love,
Qamarya

GOODNESS GRACIOUS

2010-06-17T21:37:00.000-07:00

angry at myself for not being soooo "anak dara" . angry at myself for not helping out in someone else kitchen. angry at myself for getting scolede from him infront of my collegues. angry at my FUCKING self for being immature.

FUCKING angry for just being me.

OH.. wait. one more. FUCKING ANGRY AT MYSELF FOR TRYING OUT MY NEW IPHONE AND GETTING ADDICTED TO IT.

one quote: " KALAU TAK BLEH KENE, JANGAN BUAT KAT ORANG"

EVEN IF YOU DONT KNOW YOU ARE DOING IT TO OTHERS! ...

DAMN YOU NUR QAMARIAH! .... YOU ARE STILL A FUCKING CHILD. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF BEING A " ANAK DARA" .

STUPID BITCH! GROW UP LA CHEEBYE!

WITH LOTS OF FUCKING ATTITUDE FROM ME,

QAMARYA

2010-06-16T21:04:00.001-07:00

Weeeee blogging from iphone!!!!!

ma burfday

2010-06-14T09:39:00.000-07:00

And the clock strike 12,
HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEE!!!

YEAY!

As much as I wanted to turn 21, I’m happy and thankful to my hubby for being there for me.
Beneath those smiles, lingered a piece of the past which I never let go. A piece I kept in me all the time.

I hope I have a great day for me to put it off my mind for awhile. I know tmr is yours. 16.06.10. Always remembered, cause u meant a life to me.

My BIRTHDAY WISH? ..

I want to have a happy life with hubby. I want to be success. I want what I want.

Geddit?

Once again, HAPPY BURSTDAY TO ME! ..haha

Lots of MANY MANY MANY LOVE,
Qamarya Sahat

(what a bad day to start my birthday, with my belly ozzzing with blood! arghh!)

2010-06-14T09:16:00.000-07:00

Tiring weekend. Time at work passed like chicken wing! Haha.. Although I could be fined for using HP during work. Sales were BORING. Singaporeans practically look for promotion items only! Haiyakkk dush!

So my weekend was spent working my arse off for money. And well spent with family and BF.

I learnt something yesterday. Something from my dearest hubby’s mouth.
AN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF APPRECIATION MAKES A HUGE DIFFERENCE.
Thank You love for understanding me through my Cranky moments with you. It’s been 1 year 6 months. I know it may be one of the shortest for you. But this is one of my longest. I may have always complained about you. I may have always make u look bad. But at the end of the day, you are the one been there, saw me through pain and happiness. I’m sorry for what I’ve said to you. Even if we hurt each other in our very own ways. I know, and yes I LOVE U TILL DEATH TO US APART.

Appreciate what is yours and not sulk over the past. Move on. See the brighter side of life. Don’t preach what you can’t have. Be happy for others, brings happiness to ourselves too...
And to you my friend. I have lots and lots of apologising to do. Well I know u might be reading. .
There are so many things I want to say to you. And everything have to wait on one fine day, we’ll meet and talk.

A sweet person and most loving person like you deserve a big apology from me.

Till then,

Working night on my EVE of 21st. And still working office when I turn 21st. Scrap Company who doesn’t have any birthday LEAVE!! Argh...

Lots of Love,
Qamarya Sahat
(P.S: I LOVE YOU MA MR BEAR!)

worst 21st

2010-06-12T16:12:00.000-07:00

I’m tired despite from working 2 jobs; I’m tired of saying goodbye.

I swear it’s going to be my worst 21st ever. But, hey it’s my birthday, so I’m going to make it work, even if I need to blow the candle alone!

It’s a tiny step I take to move on, a tiny step. It’s worthwhile. No one gets hurt.
But KARMA will come knocking on my door. But will karma judge how much I did or how much they did to hurt me?

Just forget about it. I will NEED to.

Concentrate in my life and what I want. I want to take nice nice awesomeness photos and post here.

Its not nice saying goodbye, it’s as though the other party or u are passing on in life.
IT’S always, B-Y-E.

Got to take some rest. Working later and I’m falling sick already. Being sick on the eve is no fun okay!!

GOOD MORNING ALL!
May your life filled with love and happiness. Maybe what you dreams, being achieved,

With much love and frustrations,
Nur Qamariah

Christina Aguilera - The Voice Within

2010-06-09T11:59:00.000-07:00

CHRISTINA AGUILERA - HURT

2010-06-09T11:56:00.000-07:00

atomic kitten-whole again

2010-06-09T11:08:00.000-07:00

Atomic Kitten - Eternal Flame

2010-06-09T11:02:00.000-07:00

2010-06-09T10:33:00.000-07:00

I’m just HURT. Too hurt to elaborate my feelings.

Maybe feelings are meant to be destroyed? ?? i don’t know what the hell is happening.

One fall after another. In one day. I wish i could pause time. But i can’t.

I can’t let go.

Cause you gave me a big impact and you left a scar.

Saying good bye is practically like saying ..HALLUUU!

I need a timeout from everything . I need a shoulder to cry on. But there aren’t any!

Ya Allah, kuat kan la semangat aku untuk menempuhi segale rintangan yang ku hadapi.

Thank you! For being a nobody to me, cause NO BODY IS PERFECT.

With love, and much much LOVE,
NUR QAMARIAH

1 return call and no msgs...

2010-06-09T01:02:00.000-07:00

There are just things I need to rant out here, but I can’t!!! And I’m angry. Not to anyone to myself. I’m stupid, gullible, and naive, never think before doing anything. Damn I need a big tight slap!!

Plus Mr Jusof hadn’t call me and literally ask me how was I doing with my tummy upset. I had to call him up, trying to find him. And there he was playing Carom.

Haish.

I’m a keeper not a let-go-er.
I’ll hold back my anger, and the more I Hold, the more I start to disappear.

piss off ,
Qamarya

Ronan Keating - If Tomorrow Never Comes

2010-06-08T21:06:00.000-07:00

2010-06-08T20:32:00.000-07:00

I’m on 2 days MC!!! Woooohoooo!!

I like to keep my blog very dusty. Could I employ a PA to do this for me?..

So anyway, that’s not the basic reason why I’m blogging today. I had alot of chances given to me. But I guess I was too BLIND to even judge what is good and what is bad for me. Making decision is never my thing, because I am FRICKLE MINDED. There are series of unfortunate events that took place. TO be really honest, I didn’t want things to be like today. But who am I to turn the time back? It’s an obstacle I have to pull through.

You know how confused I can be, but I’m trying to clear my mind off things. A friend of mine said, GENERALLY, guys tend to get bored in relationship after the honeymoon period, which is after 6 months. But it may not be true to some though. To reach this far with someone I LOVE to death, I sacrifice so much, and someone I rely on, I’m really grateful. Without him, I won’t become who I am TODAY. However, for me to love someone to death, do I really love myself?

Question I keep asking myself. Keep lingering in my mind so long, when finally it came out!
I want to do things that I WANT. I want to study, I want to pass my car licence, and I want to pass my bike licences. I want a successful career. I want to get a taste of living life in luxury, not that I don’t appreciate what I have today, but everyone want to chase their dreams. I quote from a friend: SUCCESS COMES FROM A POSITIVE THINKING.

So why am I not doing everything before, why I realise only NOW? Why don’t I tell myself earlier?

SIMPLE. I always think using my HEART not my MIND.
To make an awesome decision for my own life, I have to think and make decision with heart and mind. Just like using a telephone at home. You need a telephone and a phone line to call. I need to use both and see how far I want to go.
I may say this all now, and the next day I’ll forget what even I want.
But I’m standing on my rights, my wants now. SO no one will tempt to change it. Even LOVE.

MAKE IT HAPPEN QAMARYA. DONT HANGAT HANGAT TAIK AYAM JE KAY!!!!

With LOVE,
Qamarya

2010-02-26T08:14:00.000-08:00

Hey,

Back to blogging world huh Nur Qamariah? .. I guess it’s the only place I could put my mind at ease by typing everything down. But those privacy ones, I’ll still need to keep close to my heart.

So it’s 2010, lots of un explain things happen in 2009 which I wish to put in a bag and sealed it and chuck it one side.
I’ve been trying to find better paying jobs, or higher paying jobs. I need to save so badly. 4 years down the road, every bit will increase its price! Darns that! .. And forget about recommending any admin in my work place. Top three things that disgust me most! 1, you are being treated like DOG. 2, They basically choose the most good and best employee and increase their pay so high , up to the same standard as a supervisor.(TSK TSK TSK, ANAK EMAS KAPA??) 3, While others are being paid according to their job scope, and even has a agreement contract with the company, my company however doesn’t have one. They basically employ you without asking for a copy of IC or resume or Account Book. They make you work, for the first few months; you will be like a baby, being guide through obstacles. But when your probation period is over, you’ll get the worst treatment. Not only that you will need to MULTI-TASK. You will need to do a 4 person job. FCUK. Really, I’m not tell tale-ing. I’m doing the boss’s job, sales, purchasing, accounts (at times), and even worst, doing a PROJECT according to vessel’s requirement ALONE. GET THAT? Alone doing something you don’t even know what it is… haish…
INTERESTING RIGHT?....

Hahhaa,
I had a resolution for 2010, but I’ve yet to achieve it.
So my next update, I’ll show the list of MUST DO list for 2010.

Till then,
With love, qamariah.

back again

2009-11-30T07:49:00.000-08:00

I'm back again in blogging world.Not because of fame, but i need space.. a space I can let everything off my chest.

A little update about me? Currently still working at the same place , company called "Techno-Marine (S) Pte Ltd" for over a year already.Yes,yes , purely Chinese company.And i have a whole lot of fun and laughter working there,having my childhood friend and my best buddie working together with me...that is what I can call HEAVEN! ahaha..

Let's side track a while.

I just came back from my ultimate "NO PARENTS" holiday, with my boyfriend and friends!! The first for me though.What do you expect? I'm barely 21!! We went to KL via BIKE,convoy 6 bikes from JB all the way to Kuala Lumpur which is 300KM apart! Had hell of a ride! ... should do that again someother time, THAILAND maybe! For Pictures, kindly visit my FB. "KL Trip with the Gang"

Life has been pretty tough on me, reminiscence of the past keep coming back haunting me.There is so much i held back. Its not good for me, but its good for everyone else to better off not knowing anything than something! ..

Sometimes i feel like exploding...

God Allah s.w.t always give you chances for a reason,
and my reason was , for me to repent to a better ISLAM

Life is not about enjoying it, its about living through it as who you are. An Islam.

2009-09-19T10:22:00.000-07:00

selamat hari raya to all.

there are sins that i've done to hurt feelings, to cause fight between one another... and also to ignore friends that are there for me.

dari itu,
saye NUR QAMARIAH BINTE SAHAT, ingin mengucap kan SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL FITRI , MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN.

JIKA ADA SALAH DAN SILAP, TERKASAR BAHASE, TER KURANG AJAR, TERMAKI DGN TAK SENGAJE, HARAP DI MAAF KAN.

DAN KEPADE KENG KAWANS, RYA INGIN MEMINTA MAAF, DGN 10 JARI JEMARI JIKA RYA TERSINGGUNG KAN PERASAAN YANG LAIN. RYA NI MANUSIA BIASA YANG TAK PERNAH PUDAR DARI MEMBUAT KESILAPAN.

sekian.

p.s: i think i'm living in an empty world. seriously. turn left and right. only left me and my boyfriend all alone.

2009-09-09T08:13:00.000-07:00

i have such a hard time trusting myself. believe in things that i definately have to.

relationship is based on trust, honesty and loyalty.

those 3 major things that i need from you.

anyway, a simple convo with baby:

me: can i ask you a question?
him: apa dia baby?
me: would you love,care, be by my side till the end?
him:of all question , knape ni? you should know the answer rite.
me:just asking. i think i miss you..... WAIT, i do miss you damn much.
him: i'm sorry. i love u too k.

haish.

i fell in love with love, despite going through a whole lot of ups and downs. insecurities.

this is what i wanted. this is what i'm going to build.

a life with you, baby.

2009-09-06T02:42:00.000-07:00

we are having a hard time communication with one and another. we weren't like how we used to be. happy . joyful. loving. caring. cute......

its all gone.
all we are just a couple that fight and fight.

and i know he is getting bored of me. cause he said once to someone else that my mouth really hurt his feelings.
but did he ever think about my feelings ? ... did you ever spare a thought for me? ....

i've been by your side through ups and downs, been through your empty promises. yet i still keep standing next to you even when u betray my trust .

so is it me that making my self crazy, trying to lie to myself that you love only me and u will never make the same mistake again? ...

or is it you that really truly think you can't affoard to lose me?

is there even love between us?..

why can't we be like before, soo crazy in love with each other? .. 24/7 you tried to be with me, and show me you tender loving care.

why not now?...

why must you change? why must i live knowing that my feelings are miserable. confused. hurt. mentally tortured? ....

i never left your side once. i supported what ever u are into. i always put you my first piority, ALWAYS...

now i live knowing that i will keep this feeling forever, its haunting me....

2009-08-31T07:23:00.000-07:00

i'm hidding so many things,...

but i know this is what i want to do. even if i have to rip my heart out just to love and care for you, i will.

cause i know, till death to us apart, my heart belongs to you.

* simple and boring!

2009-08-14T09:58:00.000-07:00

We promised to take our relationship slowly to the next level of life. S-L-O-W-L-Y.

that is the main target for me.

build trust , love with your whole heart. be true to each other.

I LOVE YOU JUSOF,you are my baby, my boyfriend, my lover, my bestfriend, my hubby ...

you're my everything!

2009-08-11T08:04:00.000-07:00

Hey ho. Its been such a long time since i left my dusty blog .

There is so many things that i want to tell here.SO MANY WORDS TO TYPE.So many things to do. I wished i have my own space. My own place i call home. Just me and my hubby. I wished i was married, but after i found out the truth, YES TRUHT REALLY HURT. everything happens for a fucking reason. i don't really need to elaborate.

but i must say this, EVEN WHEN YOU'RE ALONE, INDEPENDENT, SAD.....your friends and family are there for you. I believe my friends... cause they kept me going. they kept me strong, they too are my pillar of strength. I use to think that friends are only there when your happy moments, but i trust them with my life. They are the ones who can see your true colours. they are the ones who make you laugh till you drop.... and they are the ones who make you smile with tears....

i thank you my dear friends, even with my tight schedule, you never let me down...

Dusty, Rusty blog

2009-06-21T06:45:00.000-07:00

Just as i was about to type a whole chunk of words, my baby called.

Our conversation goes like this:
Him: Helo, pat mane?
ME: rumah.
Him:Ok.
Me: why?...
Him: RINDU JE. k bye...(and he put down the phone!)

hahaha.. these antics of him that always makes me fall for him even deeper!!

And so.. i've turned 20. and my 3 day celebration with my baby was AWESOME. i can never ask for more. What else if he did everything he could to make me happy.

Well, the pictures can be found at my face book. i won't upload it here. not because its too big.
but i'm PLAIN LAZY.

right. the ghost story @ suria start already...

See you guys around.

AND THIS I PROMISE... will update at least twice a week... take my word aye??

2009-05-26T05:46:00.000-07:00

i lost mine.

updates

2009-04-26T06:06:00.000-07:00

so here i am, minding my own business with every single of my family members out.left me and bibik only. listen to Shah Adha's music, which is one of my favourite.While watching X-Men 2. and NOT TAKEN MY BATHE SINCE MORNING.

i would probably just up date pictures for today. cause there will be too much to update in words.

so here we goes, in order:

My Pool Night with Baby: I WON!!

and then we lepak t esplanade ,on a sunday night @ 2230 hrs.

plus not much youngstes around!!

Next: My Sakura Dinner with SeaSaver Mates and partner

He was having his RAW fish meat,SASHIMI. URRGH!

RAW WHITE FISH!!

Team Prince Escort

I'll be back updating!!

time consuming

2009-02-05T06:13:00.000-08:00

so the reason i'm hardly updating is that, work is taking up most of my time. other than that, i'm 24/7 with him. other than that too.. my home pc is down. crash. not kena langgar, but kena virus AMK BAPOK. dont ask me how it got in. thanks to my mum who clicked on a pop up blocker, thinking it was registering our home pc for an anti virus plan. of which, the pop up itself is A VIRUS!...

its been awhile since i got to touch or carasss my beautiful new keyboard lappy. it was over at BF place. since he didnt have any PC, why not use my Lappy, while i can use my pc. but for now, i missed my late nights chatting, late nights you tubing, late nights web caming... haish its all in the past.

did i say that i failed my FTT for the freaking 2nd time, and my next FTT is on 23 Feb, which means, my course is ending SOON... dammint. if only i'm a rich girl daughter, one snap can bring me everything i want!.. this is life!

me and bf was doing our financial planning. we really need to, due to the main reason of BOTH OVER SPENDING!! over spending on ciggiss.. over spending of endless late night supper. over spending on karaokes.. AND we came to a conclusion. (no, we are not having a joint account, you definately heard about cases where couples broke up and one partner running away with a huge amount of money, which initially belonged to the both of them.) we re trying to cut down on dinning in a restaurant, going for karaoke for no reason/season. and more.. because i wanna save more. since he is taking his 2A and class 3 at the same time, cash is one of the obsticles that we both have to face , every day. while waiting for his TP, we were planning on what bike to buy after his 2A, initally i wanted him to get himself a DRZ, but, since his passion for a more faster bike, he wanted to wait for 1 more year and take his class 2 licences, and his dream bike would probably... be ...

DUCATI MONSTER.

dream on sayang. I STILL WANT A CAR OVER A BIKE OKAY!!!

2009-01-17T01:35:00.001-08:00

HIS 25TH BIRTHDAY PICTURES UP NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

stay tuned!!

pictures

2009-01-17T00:49:00.001-08:00

As spoken,
some of the many pictures of us.

First Date

My Daily Addiction
[we never failed to meet up after work, even if rain permits us.]

My Karaoke Session with him
[did i say that he had "Anuar Zain's" voice, and he can sing Anuar Zain's songs!!]

My LiL Monster Nephew to town

Airport "free internet" Session

joke of this picture:
ATAN:Pak, tadi atan balik, nak naik bus tak cukup duit.Atan ader $0.40 jer
BAPAK:Abeh, cam ner atan balek?
ATAN:Atan letak $0.40, pastu tunjuk dier muke $0.20 !!!

LAME!

My Chrismas/His Friend's baby shower

His "Urut"Session with his nenek
[he fell down from the Gangway. A gangway is a so-called ladder which connects the taxi boat to the vessel.The vessel maybe quite high, which explains why he fell down. PLUS, his right knee is still fragile,after an operation from PLAYING SOCCER!!!!]

Sunset over at Kallang Leisure Park area, next to OASIS.

i want to go on board the goddamn flyer

2009-01-10T22:10:00.000-08:00

I NEED PICTURES.

my phones sucks bad time, which doesnt allow me to take beautiful pictures in low resoulution.

all i can depend on is, his CYBERSHOT C902 which has been a great companion with us.

ITS SUNDAY!!!!!!...and indeed a lazy day for me. BF is away to escort, though he asked me to accompany him, i'll give it a NO. Still havent got over being apart of TQ last time, and now tagging along with another. I'm no backstabber, but my heart still lies in TQ.I'll have to thank my BABYBOY for understanding that. SO anyway, i'm rotting infront of PC , not having any pretty pictures to edit, and no idea what to blog!!

There are alot of things in my mind lately, just that the time to type it out makes everything vanish in thin air!!!!!

SO topic of today is... SINGAPORE FLYER.

Yes it is the main attraction of Singapore's Tourism lately. Thus, i can say, almost all tourist/visitors to singapore are looking forward to have a ride in the SINGAPORE FLYER right?Sadly, the incident have to happen during "their" holiday season, and ruin their chances to ride on the flyer. I however, haven't got the chance to ride on.EVENTHOUGH BF's birthday is in 3 FUCKING DAYS,AND HIS REQUEST IS TO RIDE ON THE SINGAPORE FLYER. And goddammn pisang, i can't bring him.

The tenants around flyers area are also having a bad time coping with economy issues.They hardly earn big there. I did have a talk with Build-a-Bear manager when i was there few months ago, being a customer there, i had to ask a simple question." HOW WAS BUSINESS HERE", knowing that the retail outlet at vivo earns much more than flyer!! all she had to say was,"We are moving out by end year or few months or so, no business ah. People come and go!" .. that BAD!!

so , was it a goo idea to put SINGAPORE FLYER in one tiny corner of the CBD area, with a distance to walk for those taking public, and tourist who my get lost getting to flyer?...

CHET!... and now i heard the CHIEF/MANAGER/HEAD of this SINGAPORE FLYER was forced to resign, just because he didnt wanna say while the electric power got cut off in the recent event.

hessh. so much for building singapore to a better economy status!...

till then, i've said my mind, pardon me if i said something bad that offend us/me/u/them , a singaporean.

2009-01-04T04:22:00.000-08:00

i’m a sensitive person. hopefully not to the bad extent. and when i’m angry you can just let me be. thought i’m fucking angry, i chose not to show you my temper. cause i know you may just walk away.

i still keep that anger, cause i told you once, i'm a keeper person, not a thrower person. what ever you've said, i will keep deep in my heart, until i cannot tahan, then you can hear me shouting right next to your ear.

like i've said before, never underestimate a GEMINI, for they are known for being twins with themselves. 2 personality in 1 person.

that is the reason why, others can have a hard time getting to know the real ME.

till then,
no pics cause lappy with BF, and pics oso with BF.

and he is having a hard time UPLOADING it.
:)))))

countdown

2009-01-01T00:46:00.000-08:00

Countdown with ONLY BF was awsome. Bump into fezzah and surayya at vivo. Our initial plan was Marina Barrage, but jamed pack.

Plus,

yours truly and BF had a minor accident with a one fucking stupid bangla.Well, its not a bad one.But it made me so shakey on the aftermath.Panic and blur at one point and trying so hard to recall what happen. SO girls/ riders/pillions, always look infront and watch out your surroundings.

SO it actually happen, we enter Marina South by, selit-menyelit. I already warned BF to be really careful. We had to make a u-Turn cause the road to Marina Barrage was already closed. While making our way out, we were heading for VIVOCITY, the roads were fuckingly jammed pack. Bf was telling me," I'VE GOT 2 WHEELS...(so as to say, we can selit)". When suddenly, "BANGGGG!".From laughing my heads off, to being so tensed. HE accidentally hit a bangla on a cycle. And this Fucking bangla, was also selit-ting between 2 cars and he did not/never check his blindspots. He just fuckingly moved without looking on his left(where we were coming from).And there we banged into him. Thank God BF managed to break in time, cause if we lost control of the bike, we would probably hit the on coming car or skidd or fall off the bike.

I was unhurt, just mentally disturb. My first time though. Bf was also tensed and kept quiet the whole journey. His hand had scars from the Bangla's fingernails, and some abrasions.

Its a Lesson learn.

Focus your eyes on the road, even if you're a pillion.

Vivo's fireworks was boring, for everyone,including me thought it would be at Siloso Beach.All kena CON! haha, it was at Mount Faber. If only hubby had DRZ. hahahah... Future eh! insyallah we both can afford. After that we head to ECP and had Carl's Junior . Shared a burger and spent the rest of our time talking about our teenage life, since I'm turning BIG 2-0 next year. And he is turning Half 50CENTS.
Your old baby!! ... time to think about your FUTURE!

A nice COUNTDOWN spent with my dearest Babyboy. :))))))))

Have a great start for 2009 with your love ones, you only live life once, be brave , do what you think is best not what others want you to do. Remember your love ones are always there for you. And please, DON'T DRINK AND RIDE/DRIVE.

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!

2008-12-28T05:37:00.000-08:00

First off, i apologies for being MIA since god knows when! Been home late, and hardly use internet. Its just a once a week usage. So...

I went online since 9pm after bf went off to work. Yes, indeed i said BF.No its not F anymore, I had my own reason for leaving him.its a shame that i had to put up with him just to make him happy. not myself. though i'm in wrong, i'm glad there isnt any hard feelings between us.

BF = Jusof Bin Ahmad.

A brief background about my BF, he and i are working in the same company but different department. He is a Lifeboat Supervisor :))), while i'm just an admin assistant. No he didnt stole me from F, we were already rocky back then. So to say, we continued from being collegues - friends - couples .

As I was saying, BF had to work since vessel coming in at 2100hrs.But its usual that they get delayed till 0000hrs. I pitied him, cause he got to wake up early in the morning tomorrow to fetch me and off we go to work.Yes together, every morning , and every evening he'll send me back home safely. Same company, with different department and different venue of workplace. He is being stationed in workshop @ eunos, while yours truly is in the office dept @ guilermard road.

I'll upload our pictures soon. Sooo plenty of them. Our first official DATE - Marina Barrage- our daily meet ups. so many of them, thanks to his CYBER-SHOT 5 mega pixel camera phone.Mine freaking phone sucks. NO video. 1.2Mega pixel.No internet.No mms. So basically,
its B-O-R-I-N-G.

And speaking of Marina Barrage, I got bored of the place. Firstly, its fully pack during weekends , no parking and no SMOKING in that area. I got told off by the CISCO the first time i went there in early dawn morning, which was before the place was officially opened.They down have any minimarts or vending machines, so make sure you buy drinks or food or better still eat before heading there .

okay. thats all for now.

BF hogging on the line with me. KAPAL DELAYED AND if it exceeds 0200hrs, he gets half day off tomorrow.And if he needs to do servicing after that, and exceeds 0500hrs, he gets full day OFF!!!

which means, NO sending me to work. No fetching from work.

BOO-HOO.

ookay bye dudes and dudettes.

P.S: I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND TO BITSSSS.....for real.

2008-11-01T23:42:00.000-07:00